What used to be

I tend to look back on a lot of memories. Memories with friends that used to be. How much fun I used to have with them, the amazing ambitions we all had for the future that never seemed to have come true, the long five hour hang out sessions we used to have over the summer or after school.

I tend to look back and think: What Happened?

Friends seem to disappear left and right, turning one way as I continue down the same street until finally I just give up and follow down a new road. What happened to the dreams we used to talk about, promising each other that it’ll all come true. What happened to telling each other everything one day and the next day act like we’re complete strangers, saying an awkward ‘Hi’ every once and a while. What happened to the amazing friendship we all used to have?

I guess it’s just another cruel fact of life. Moving on and growing up also means gaining and losing. I hate to lose something that I used to consider so dear to me. I miss my old friends, my used to be friends. I almost hate thinking about the memories with them, it makes me uncomfortable, unwilling to accept that what used to be isn’t here anymore.

But I suppose it’s always going to be like this. I’m going to lose another friend in the future, no matter how hard I try not to lose the connection, I will. I guess I can just look forward to all the new friends I’ll gain, all the new friends I have gained after losing others.

He wrote me a song,

I don't exactly expect sweet things [like really amazingly sweet things] to happen to me during a relationship. Yes, I am now in a relationship again, go figure, I really can't seem to keep myself for myslef, not that I'm complaining because this new boy called Nick isn't anything less than amazing. He asked me out through a fortune cookie, when I opened it and saw my name I nearly peed in my pants from terror, but I recovered quickly after noticeing he had slipped the paper in. That was a HUGE relief, but I wonder what he thought while he was watching my terrified face read the fortune.

Back to the point, I have a new boyfriend [see Nick's Beautiful blog] and he wrote me a song :]


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pj1fBv4CsY